Me, unfiltered, is hard to swallow - my mind is just not made to follow.
Corrupted thoughts without fence or barrier - that’s a lot to worry.
Sorrow and mystery, truth and horror - all of my thoughts could be you tomorrow.
Run away while you still can - no second chance no help to follow.

I just recently started shooting black and white film and of course, just like I do with color, I develop the film myself. I am still getting used to thinking in B/W and I have to say it’s a lot harder than color. Even the development part - I seriously don’t understand why so many people say that B/W is more easy than color development. The C41 Process is standardized, there are good chemical kits available and the only thing you need to know is to have the chemicals at 38 degrees Celsius. Look up the development times and have some stopwatch and you are ready to go.

Not so with B/W film. You need to look at massive charts that are missing you exact ISO/film/developer combination and everybody on the internet keeps writing that B/W development is easy without telling you how it’s done. B/W film is absolutely not forgiving when you process it too long, mess up the dilution ratio etc. - the film gets grainy instantly. That said, here’s a nice tutorial that won’t go into all the unnecessary details (in German).

It’s the first time that I developed and shot B/W, but the results are OK. Here are a few samples.

I’ve gambled all.

Did I lose? Did I win?

I’m not selling out!

I have been writing a lot of poems lately. It’s something new for me and I get a lot of positive energy from writing at the moment. I’ll try to turn a few of them to sound files and share them here, so expect some new stuff here soon.

I do this for myself, I don’t care if others like what I do. If you don’t like it, move on. It’s a free world after all. However, if you have valuable input, I’ll listen.

I wanna Live! I wanna Love! But it’s a long hard Road out of Hell!
– Marilyn Manson Long hard Road out of Hell

The last few weeks were one of the most crazy episodes of my life. I have experienced life from so many different perspectives that I lost count. What I learned however, is this: Stop planning, stop being too serious. and stop being too damn grown up. Sure, there are many occasions where you have to be serious and it never hurts to think about the future, but please don’t overdo it.

I have made plans all my life. I am usually acting very cautiously and always play it safe. This lead to a situation where chaos and disorder was pretty much removed from my life. It also lead to a lot of boredom and every-day-life that just went on and on as it did. It was sometimes so dull and lifeless that at some point something in me decided that stuff must change.

I gambled with everything I had and loved. I hurt the feelings of many people and behaved extremely egoistic. I did a shitload of things that you just “don’t do” and did not give a damn about the consequences.