i took a step to the edge today

toward a plunge into decay

another kill they’re going to say

(Note: this is an old text from another life)

two lives that went astray
one to stay - no more to say
feelings turning round again
returning where they started from

better feels the thrill of old
costly for it’s golden glow
what became a growing cold
once a friendship it was told

Me, unfiltered, is hard to swallow - my mind is just not made to follow.
Corrupted thoughts without fence or barrier - that’s a lot to worry.
Sorrow and mystery, truth and horror - all of my thoughts could be you tomorrow.
Run away while you still can - no second chance no help to follow.

I just recently started shooting black and white film and of course, just like I do with color, I develop the film myself. I am still getting used to thinking in B/W and I have to say it’s a lot harder than color. Even the development part - I seriously don’t understand why so many people say that B/W is more easy than color development. The C41 Process is standardized, there are good chemical kits available and the only thing you need to know is to have the chemicals at 38 degrees Celsius. Look up the development times and have some stopwatch and you are ready to go.

Not so with B/W film. You need to look at massive charts that are missing you exact ISO/film/developer combination and everybody on the internet keeps writing that B/W development is easy without telling you how it’s done. B/W film is absolutely not forgiving when you process it too long, mess up the dilution ratio etc. - the film gets grainy instantly. That said, here’s a nice tutorial that won’t go into all the unnecessary details (in German).

It’s the first time that I developed and shot B/W, but the results are OK. Here are a few samples.

I’ve gambled all.

Did I lose? Did I win?

I’m not selling out!