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i took a step to the edge today

toward a plunge into decay

another kill they’re going to say

alive a bitter thing to stay

reading the letter where she used to say

i love you, please live with me today.

and here i sit and write and cry

i never wanted it to be this way

i’m doing drugs to keep my sanity

to keep those thoughts away from me

this suicidal tendency sinks its claws into what’s left of me

i never thought i’d get this far

lost my last anchor and have no more straw

so please hear what i have to say

i know it’s stupid as hell as far as i can tell

and yet i cannot move my self away

this edge has been calling me so long

standing there and waiting for

another reason for a step forward to my personal hell

i never thought i could get into this mess

another joint for sanity, another glass to misery

writing lines no one will read

a way out of insanity

whatever happens now to me

it matters less and less to me

the drugs keep me together now

the thoughts tear me apart in whole

the broken pieces breaking more

and tumbling down the edge in front

it’s no solution - that i know -

and yet another step i do

Rectifier, how’s the world supposed to be? Rectifier, take my hand and rescue me!
– RA Rectifier

Note: I wrote this during a very dark period of my life. It’s an almost unedited stream of consciousness type of work . I am now feeling a lot better.